Banjo-Tooie - N64

[SIZE="6"]Banjo-Tooie - N64 - 2000[/SIZE]



Banjo Kazooie was a great success so a sequel was pretty obvious. But I really didn’t think that it would beat the Banjo Kazooie so much. The game goes straight into the ‘Bag of sequels better than their firsts’ along with The Dark Knight, Toy Story 2 and Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This game is epic.

Where to start. Oh yeah the story. The story takes place after you kick Grunty’s fat ass (Didn’t you know you beat the villain at the end of Banjo-Kazooie?) The witch is under some rock while her minion Klungo, who’s a retarded, obese dinosaur with a speech problem (sorry I didn’t tell you about him), is trying to get the fatty out. But seeming as he’s too weak he can’t do it. So what’s our favourite bear and bird doing? they’re playing poker, kids game, remember Rare? They’re playing poker with The less annoying Bottles (you’ll see later why) and the non-frostshocking shaman Mumbo. They don’t know anything that’s going on outside. Suddenly out of nowhere, a giant drill comes crashing through a wall. The Drill opens up and out comes Grunty’s two sisters Mingella, a anorexic witch and Blobbelda, a even more obese witch. They are here to free Grunty from under the rock. They free her and revive her from under the rock and find out she’s just a skeleton. So she’s just going home now to try and steal Tooty again right? WRONG! She wants to get revenge on the Bear and bird for killing her, well I guess that’s kind of obvious. Mumbo goes outside because he heard something, but gets caught by Grunty the bitch, so the three hags go follow the shaman back to Banjos house. Mumbo tries to get them out and so Mumbo and Banjo leave the house leaving Bottles behind. The witch blows up the house. Wait, does this mean that…… Bottles is dead…? AWESOME! (this is what I meant by less annoying). So like the average hero game character that he is, he goes after her.



In Isles O Hags, Born and Raised, in spiral mountain where he spent most of his days. Banjo starts off at his destroyed house back in Spiral Mountain and just like before Bottles Ghost is the one to teach you the moves from the last game. Oh great, he’s still here. You walk around Spiral Mountain finding the molehills and Bottles will tell you how to do it. This time you get nothing for the tutorial, so those who already know how to play can just get stuck right into the adventure. That’s pretty good so people don’t waste time and can actually do something. So you enter a cave where the drill got through to follow Grunty. The cave is enormous, why did the other two Witches waste all that time making a really big cave when they could of saved their sister? So you walk into the cave and, you’ve guess it the exits close up. You don’t suppose there’s a boss fight? You see Klungo in here because he got left behind because no-one loves him. That’s right, you fight Klungo beating him however I’m not telling you. Wow, so much has happened already, can we move on? There something about some Jinjo King, A Jiggy Lord and Bottles wife and kids- WHOA!! What Ho wanted to go with Bottles?…… Please that’s move on.

Speaking of Jiggy lords.
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=020B6WABK48[/media]
C’mon I had to, it was so obvious.

So, what’s the first level in this one like? Well actually it’s a Mayan Themed place called Mayahem Temple. Kind of looks like Mumbo’s Mountain to be honest. So what’s there to do around here? Well, at first look you see musical notes, hooray! More collecting! And what’s great about the notes this time is that you don’t have to collect them again when you die. They are automatically added to your notes total and you’ll never have to collect them ever again. Along my trails some guy shouts over here and says to give me the notes, and I only see some dome-type-thing. Of course I go over to it, and I find at first Bottles in army clothing-wait isn’t he dead? Then I found out it wasn’t the ****er- phew. It was really his brother Jamjars- oh I get it Bottles, Jamjars hahaha that’s.. really not funny. What’s next? Cookietin? Kettles? Frigid? ‘Sigh’. So what Jamjars does is, that’s right, teaches you new moves. Is teaching moves a family business or something? Ok he teaches me how to hang onto ledges, in song… I’m actually starting to prefer Bottles now. Enough I can’t bare JarHead anymore. So I collect more musical notes and I find Mumbo’s Skull. So I can go turn into something right? RIGHT! But not from Mumbo this time, who is it though? You’ll find out later. So I go into Mumbo’s Skull and I find some retarded pink dildo jumping around in the skull. Apparently it’s called a Glowbo. Never mind, so I find Mumbo upstairs to find that he’s sleeping. What! Grunty’s planning on destroying the world and all Mumbo can do is sleep? So you speak to Mumbo and he can help out, but you have to give him a Glowbo. What’s Mumbo going to do with a Dildo? Um……………………. Pretend I never said that. So what can you do as Mumbo? Well Mumbo can do special things like levitating, summoning stuff, frostshock etc. So what to do with Mumbo? Well Mumbo can do very little in any stage. In fact he can do only one thing to do to help and that’s it. In this level Mumbo can SUMMON A GIANT INDESTRUCTABLE GOLDEN MAN! That can kick down a wall… that’s it’s? Pointless. So going in one of the kicked down doors I find a tent and inside was, another shaman. Her name is Humba Wumba a stereotypical Indian. So what can she do? She can turn you into things, oh so she’s Mumbo’s replacement. With a help with a Glowbo she can do stuff, it’s obvious what she’d do what a dildo. Damn it’s turning into a guide again, got to stop doing that.




One last thing that there is in the game. Multiplayer, that’s right multiplayer. I personally never thought this was going to happen. To be honest it is only good if you are playing against someone who has played this and is good. Otherwise if your me and your up against Mario Party Man then you won’t get much fun and you’ll bugger off and play Mario Party. There’s lots of stuff to do in multiplayer but it’s all to do with the story mode. So the quiz is terrible for your friends but you always win. Multiplayer works it’s just not good if the people you’re playing have never played this.

CONCLUSION

Almost done Mario Party Man I’ll play Mario Party in a minute. Christ. Compared to the first game it’s brilliant. Unfortunately, multiplayer has it’s downs here as only 4 Banjo fans could get the most out of it. BUY A N64, BUY BANJO-TOOIE NOW! Oh and get Jiggy with it afterwards

New Scoring system

+ A true classic
+ The Adventure mode is awesome
+ Plenty of things to do
+ Hilarious and witty storyline
- Multiplayer is only good with other Banjo Fans

[SIZE="6"]9.5[/SIZE]

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